| A Revamp of Some Kind |
[24 Jun 2009|12:54am] |
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I'm in the process of revamping. I've removed almost everyone from my friends list for simplicity's sake, but if you'd like to be refriended, just comment here and I'll refriend you or let you know where my new location will be should I decide I want to change journals. Sorry for any potential inconvenience.
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| Just Looking for Release--Nothing To See Here |
[14 Mar 2009|01:56am] |
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mood |
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bottled up and lonely |
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music |
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"Time Is Running Out" by Muse |
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This is going to make me sound ridiculous and pathetic and morbid and high risk and a bunch of other crap I may or may not be (a high risk being a may not), but I've started to wonder why exactly I've not actually killed myself by now. Seriously, though. I have nothing going for me. I have no talents, skills, or abilities. I have no romantic life. I have no friends, not even internet friends as they all ignore me whenever I make even a small attempt at a friendship. My best friend abandoned me for her husband and children, which I understand having a family, isn't an excuse to not give a number to reach you at and then not call for two or three years or even write a fucking letter (haven't moved! Still in the same house! Even if I wasn't, my parents are here!), but she did that years ago when she decided having sex in the bed next to mine was more important than common decency and the fact that maybe the conversation leading up to the sex just might have woken me up. My family hates me. Hell, I hate me! I have no job despite my best efforts, which apparently aren't good enough at all. I can't say or do anything right. The only thing I can do is be fucking miserable and point out to myself how miserable and pathetic and stupid and lonely I am. All my attempts at fixing this have failed. And I have a period that won't end, not even on birth control except for maybe a couple of days if I'm lucky. Everything is shit, and it's been shit for years, and I can't for the life of me figure out why I've not just given up because I seriously have nothing to live for. If it weren't for the fact that I know I'm not going to kill myself, this would probably be an extremely red flag entry. However, I completely understand why people self-mutilate. I completely understand people who fly into rages over small things. It just all builds up, and there's no other way to get it out. People only notice the extreme. And even then, it's very likely they think all you're doing is being a whiney emo baby looking for attention, and while you are looking for attention, you're also looking for release, for something to just take it all away, even just for a minute, a second, a moment.
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[01 Jun 2007|01:35am] |
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No, you can't comment. You're not allowed. Don't agree? Fine. I don't want to hear it, which is why I'm disabling comments to this post.
All this whining about LJ and free speech and etc. is annoying me. So I'm going to whine about the whining. Yes, I know it's pathetic and doing exactly what I'm complaining about. No, I don't care.
First, I think if LJ had to go in and delete questionable material, then they had to do it. When it comes down to it, LiveJournal is a type of business, and whoever owns it wants to cover their butts. I'm sorry, but I'd want my butt covered, too, if there were a chance all hell would break out on it or something.
Second, freedom of speech? I'm of the opinion it's a privilege (and yes, I know at least in the United States of America it's on the Bill of Rights. However, we all know they can be amended). Let's not abuse our privileges, because when we do that, they get taken away. And then everybody gets crankier, and the cycle of annoying the crap out of people continues. Let's be smart and THINK about what we write and say before we do it. And yes, I've taken away your privilege of expressing yourself on my journal because I think some people abuse it. Also, see third.
Third. "For instance, the United States First Amendment theoretically grants absolute freedom, placing the burden upon the state to demonstrate when (if) a limitation of this freedom is necessary." In this instance, LJ is the state, and it saw need to demonstrate a limitation. Also, I'm the controller of this journal, and I see a need to demonstrate a limitation. Mostly because I don't want to debate. I'm not in the mood. I just want to toss out my two cents and my own bitching since everyone else has. I figure, why the hell not?
Fourth. I was not happy about the fandom aspect of it all. I frequented a lot of them, and I'm glad to see them coming back. From the tiny bit I've seen, people seem to be celebrating and basically being snobbish brats about it. "Ha ha! LJ made a mistake! They lose!" Why not just say, "Thanks for hearing us! We really appreciate it!"? It's far more polite and make those of you that aren't 14 look more your age.
Fifth. That's it. It's off my chest. You probably didn't read this anyway, which is fine. I just wanted to get it out and have my moment to whine and be a bit hypocritical and use my privilege.
Bye now.
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